A few nights ago I was driving home from work with my left hand positioned on the steering wheel at just the right angle so that as I slowed to a stop in my driveway, I was left to gaze at my engagement ring in a very typical "just engaged" fashion. The diamond sparkled beautifully in the dim lighting of the night & it fit like a dream. "Damn," I thought to myself, "I upgraded."

It is no secret that this is not my first engagement, and it won't be my first marriage either. There are days that I am still ashamed of that fact because I, too, once preached that "my first marriage will be my only marriage" and "divorce wasn't an option - ever." But the reality is that divorce was an option and the reason my first marriage didn't make it was precisely because I didn't believe it could ever fail. That, I learned, was my biggest mistake during the years of calling myself Olivia Lowman. I believed that my marriage was invincible and I did not need to protect it because we were simply going to make it. Divorce was not going to happen and no matter what, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse (or really worse or oh-my-God-can-it-even-get-any-worse) we were going to stay married until "death do us part."

So as I sat in my driveway gazing longingly at my new bling, I looked up a the house that Scott and I built together and I reflected on how so much has changed over the past few years. The biggest change of all, I noticed, was the change in myself. A few years ago, I was a self-admitted mess. I was selfish & unforgiving, depressed, anxious, and a slew of other adjectives that you'd never put on a resume, including unhappy...and so was my ex-husband. The key word in that sentence? Was.

We were awful at being married. Friends and family of my ex may read this and think, "well no wonder he was awful, you were awful," and my friends and family may read this and think, "he was the awful one, he's even the one that left," but the truth is, he's just the one that drove away. In different ways, we both left our marriage long before the separation began and yes, even though I did try to salvage the marriage and begged him to come home, I don't really blame him for not wanting to. Now let me make one thing clear, no matter how cringe-worthy it may be for anyone to read: My ex-husband & I could have made it work. We could have done a lot of things differently during our marriage and at the bitter end, we didn't make the right choice. This is a simple truth that any person who calls themselves a Christian already knows to be true: divorce is not God's plan and He hates it. We should still be married to this day & if we had stuck through the darkest part of our marriage, we'd probably be okay right now. 

I say this because I don't want anyone reading this who is married & going through a really rough patch - or perhaps even their own separation or divorce - to think my point in writing this is to glorify divorce & remarriage. God can take the most broken marriage & the most broken husband or wife and He can change their heart. He can mend what we think can't be fixed. He can heal the wounds we think are too deep to repair. He can rebuild the trust we don't think we can offer to our spouse anymore. He can restore joy inside the heart of the most depressed... I could go on and on and on. But for those who don't truly know that yet, and for those who allowed the enemy to step in and make a decision that we should have given to God, there is grace. 

I walked inside and unloaded the day's baggage before making my way upstairs. I made a mental note of how big our new house really is, not just in square feet but in the blessing of getting to live here. When I got upstairs I found my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I washed off the day's makeup. As I stared at myself with my hair back, make-up off, and jewelry put away I repeated the same thought I had in the driveway with an amendment: "I upgraded, and so did Ethan." 

If you haven't caught on, I'm not talking about diamonds. I'm not talking about the new person I'm sharing my life with or the house we're calling a home. I'm talking about myself. The version of Olivia that Scott proposed to isn't the same as the version of Olivia that was married to Ethan. The version of Ethan that Sarah falls asleep next to every night is not the same version of Ethan that I was married to. Thank God, right? 

We upgraded. 

We grew up. 

We made mistakes & we punished ourselves far more harshly than we needed to. 

We lived & we learned. 

We became forgiving.

We became better listeners.

We became trusting.

We became trustworthy.

We became happy.

We upgraded.

And I'm going to take a second to do something else that's typically taboo. I'm going to brag about my ex for a second, because like it or not, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the person I shared almost a decade of my life with. So here goes: I'm proud of him & Sarah. She wasn't around to hear it, but he's been talking about being a dad since he was 16. I knew he'd be an amazing father & now he is. He has two beautiful sons with a truly beautiful woman. They've blended their family together & Ethan works hard to provide for them. I don't doubt for one second that Upgraded Ethan is doing everything I always knew he was capable of & I am beyond thankful that he's in a relationship that makes him happy. That was always our wish for each other in the beginning & that wish has come true...maybe in a slightly different fashion that we envisioned so many years ago, but it's come true none the less.

As for Upgraded Olivia? The Lord has blessed me beyond measure. I was telling a friend last night on the phone that as soon as I stopped trying to control my life and I let God have the reins, things fell into place. I am engaged to the most patient & kind man. Scott is more than I could have dreamed and hoped for...he is truly who I prayed for. He shows me the love of the Lord every day through his actions & through his words. He does not envy, he doesn't boast and he isn't proud. Scott doesn't dishonor other people and he isn't self-seeking. He doesn't get angry quickly and he never keeps a record of what I do wrong. He rejoices in truth and doesn't delight in evil. My fiance always protects me. He always trusts me and hopes with me. He perseveres. He never fails me.

It's quite fitting that this is my last blog post of 2015. All of us are ready for 2016. It will be a year of so much excitement. Engagement parties, wedding showers, marriages, children's birthday parties, time with family and the chance to keep upgrading every. single. day. 

My handsome fiance, me, Ethan & his beautiful wife-to be. Happiness, the Lord's blessings and upgrading looks good on everyone. 

Happy new year. 

Building 6610

When I started this blog I said I may not be posting regularly, but oops. I didn't mean to go two months with radio silence. Silence on the blog doesn't means silence in real life, though...on the contrary! Scott and I have been so busy with work and life and perhaps we've been the busiest with just waiting for our first HOME to be built!  I thought I'd share a few pictures of the process before doing our big reveal once we close... which is happening in NINE days!

Scott has lived in our apartment since before we started dating, and when we began our relationship & I moved in and started helping out with the bills... woah, did the price of rent smack me in the face. I had previously paid a mortgage that was much less than what we've been paying monthly and Scott longed to have a home that was really his. So, rather quickly, we started looking into real estate in our area. We went "neighborhood shopping" for a few weeks before realizing how affordable building a house is in our area right now. Where I'm from, neighborhoods don't just pop up all the time so building typically requires purchasing land and then hiring a contractor to build the home. Here, though, real estate is exploding and there are tons of neighborhoods in development. We visited probably one million model homes which was really fun at first but then became incredibly exhausting. We finally found the perfect one & in June of this year, we signed our names on the line and began the tedious process of hurry up & wait.

I'd like to tell you that the whole process was just plain exciting & fun and that there were no fights that lasted through the night about what color granite would go in the kitchen and whether or not the fireplace would go in the middle of the wall or the corner or if we'd even have one at all, but I'm an honest girl. I'm incredibly grateful that Scott really puts me first and that at 1am when I'm almost in tears over a fireplace (in retrospect, I may have been PMSing at the time), he simply took my hand and said, "Baby, call the builder first thing. Let's add the fireplace. And let's go to bed."

Overall, after one or two bouts of doubting all the choices we made, though, the process was incredibly easy. Scott & I both have very similar tastes and we had a long list of "musts" and "wants" and "we can live withouts" that made narrowing down the floor plan & choices rather easy. We ended up going with Ryland homes in the floor plan Landrum - D. Thankfully, we were able to visit a few homes in this floor plan, so we weren't going in too blindly. It blows my mind how some people are able to look at a paper and decide on a plan...I'm way too visual for that.

We pretty randomly picked out our lot without thinking much about it. In fact, this was the first lot the sales person showed us and we loved that it was near a cul-de-sac and also had a protected tree line. We knew we didn't want a large yard but needed enough for our dogs to run and play once we built a fence and lot 128 fit our needs nicely!

Once we picked out our lot, we scheduled a trip to the design center where we'd pick out the details of our home:

And after that, we did lots & lots of waiting until they were ready to begin. We spent lots of miles just driving past "our dirt" to remind ourselves of what we were working towards. It was tough being on a really tight budget for seven long months and not being able to always "see" what we were saving for. There were some really frustrating days when we wanted to go do things or buy certain things and the money was right there in our account but we couldn't touch it because of this seemingly mythical house we were "supposedly" going to be moving into "eventually."

I remember this day so clearly... we drove by the lot and we finally saw a little progress! They were getting ready to pour the foundation and we had been told that once the foundation was poured, it would go by really fast. 

 

After we saw that work was starting, we began driving by ALL the time. I really think this kept me sane... I loved watching our hard work come to life and we used it as motivation to keep saving & waiting patiently. Here you can see the foundation begin! 

A few days later, the sales rep for the development sent us this picture of the frame work going up and it went up fast.

By the time we got by to see it in person, it already looked like a house and the second floor was constructed!

This is an important picture that really brought me to tears when I saw it in person. Originally, to save money, I compromised and didn't get a fireplace so we could get the upstairs balcony that Scott really loved. We looked at re-sale value and the cost of gas and agreed that the fireplace was going to be more costly in the long run and that (to my surprise) most people opt out of a fireplace now when they build, so it wouldn't be a big deal when we decided to sell down the road. After a few restless nights and Scott knowing it was on my mind, well, you already know the rest of the story (see above):

The roof was finished & siding started to go up:

It looked so good once it was all on!

I have tons  of pictures of inside framework & drywall that I won't bore you with, but here are a few that will serve as good "before" pictures of the inside: 

Then our stone was completed and our driveway was poured. We were incredibly happy that the driveway was poured because that meant we didn't have to walk across dirt and mud every time we wanted to go inside:

From here, it was lots of detail-oriented work and sometimes when we'd visit it didn't look like a lot had happened day-to-day, but we were excited for cabinets, stair rails, and the mantel. It started to look like a real home, not just a house:

Paint really made it come together in our minds even though there was a lot left to be done:

 

Flooring was next, even though they keep the wood covered to protect it. Tile was laid in our bathrooms & carpet on the steps & upstairs:

    

Y'all don't even know how exciting sod is until you build a house: 

Or how exciting appliances & countertops can be: 

 

And finally, the most recent shot of the outside with our columns painted!

We cannot wait until we close on the 22nd! We do our final walk-through on Tuesday and then, once we sign on the dotted line (for what seems like the zillionth time), we can start moving in. At first we planned to move in slowly through mid-february when our lease is up in our apartment, but we're just too dang excited now, so expect lots of pictures & home decor updates between now and then!

Would anyone be interested in youtube videos of our house projects & progress? Scott & I have been tossing the idea around and it sounds kind of fun. Let me know!

fall capsule wardrobe!

I am really excited that I've got my fall capsule wardrobe finished*!   *almost

I'll be honest, this was an incredibly easy task to complete thanks to my mom who took me shopping for my birthday a few weeks early and also because by nature, I gravitate towards cool weather -friendly pieces. Even after this past spring/summer when I made an effort to have season appropriate clothing, I had several that also will work great this fall. Additionally, where I had to pretty much start from scratch for my spring/summer wardrobe, I had several pieces that I tucked away in a box that were just waiting to be let out for this season!

I'll also be completely honest by admitting that my wardrobe isn't 100% completely done, but it's so close that I'm ready to share it. I'm missing a few staple pieces (I need both a long sleeve black and white shirt, and also a pair of flats) and then I'd really love to add a fun printed legging. Scott and I are on a ridiculously tight budget until the end of October while we're paying the initial down payment on our home, so I'm making do with what I have until November!

So, without anymore waiting...here we go!

First up, tops! I am obsessed with sweaters & flow-y cardigans. The bulk of my capsule is here & I couldn't be happier about it! There are a few things I'll be switching out over the next few months, like the denim button up on the top row. It fits well but isn't made of the best material for me, so I'm on the hunt for the perfect one. There are also a few pieces I may part with before my capsule is over with, like the pink sequence shirt. I love that shirt and it looks great paired with a black blazer for a night out, but I remember never wearing it last year even though I had the same intentions. If after a two months I never reach for it, I'll swap it for a more versatile piece. I also have two black blazers but I'll probably let the dressier of the two go as well...I always say it'll be perfect for the holidays but I never actually wear it.

The rest of my capsule is quite plain! I have 1 sweater dress, one nicer dress, one pair of black leggings, one pair of black dress paints, one pair of skinny jeans & one pair of relaxed fit jeans. I have only three pairs of shoes for fall: two wedges & my Keds. I'm on the lookout for the perfect pair of fall boots & a pair of flats but I haven't fallen in love with anything yet so I'm trying to be super patient! 

And that's it! I have 34 pieces total for fall which is kind of crazy because I absolutely love fall clothing and this is my smallest capsule yet! To be honest, this is probably the smallest amount of clothing I've ever had in my closet but I can say that I really like each piece. I also have room to add about 10 pieces without feeling guilty over the next few months which is exciting because I really love shopping for fall clothes! One part of the capsule lifestyle that always turns me off is the idea that you don't shop during that season...and that's really not my style! So I'm excited to add my own twist to the capsule rules by allowing myself to add a few pieces while starting out with the bulk of it already complete. 

So that's it! What does your capsule look like?

happy birthday + my favorite day

As I sat down to my blog tonight, I wasn't quite sure where to start. I asked Scott what he thought I should write about and he suggested that I write about my day. That's quite fitting, really, because today has always been my favorite day of the year & starting twenty-five years ago, it's always been Scott's birthday. What a happy coincidence that my favorite person was born on my favorite day...it's made the celebration extra sweet, for sure.

I would usually take the time to describe why I love October in great detail & I would try to capture a bit of it's magic through words. But tonight, the only thing I want to talk to about is how absolutely thankful I am that I got to spend my favorite day with the best guy in the world. 

Years ago, I would never have guessed that we'd be where we are now, but I am so grateful that this is where my life has taken me. By my side, I have someone who is incredibly caring, passionate & selfless. My needs are always met, even when his aren't. He teaches me every day to be a better person and he shows me through action what it means to live a life of integrity. 

While I usually can find all the words to say, this one leaves me quite speechless at times. I'm forced to simply sit back in awe of someone who gives so much and try to find rest in the silence that comes from a language that isn't spoken, but rather felt through a love I never knew really existed. 

To my knight in shining armor, I wish the happiest birthday in the world. I can't wait to adventure through twenty-five with you. 

pumpkin spice cupcakes + hello fall

In the past I've read about Seasonal Affective Disorder which is a type of depression that happens at the same time every year and typically lasts through a specific season. For most people, their depression will set in at the beginning of fall and last through the cold winter, only finding relief when the spring brings new life & the temperature warms up. I find the opposite happens for me. Yesterday we welcomed the first day of fall with the most beautiful September weather. I stepped outside just as the sun was setting and my mood immediately shifted. The cool air embraced me & the smell of fall reminded me that life was brilliant again.

So naturally, we needed to celebrate. And what better way to celebrate than cupcakes? I don't intend to always write about food and recipes but I'm still on my Kitchenaid Mixer high and I make no apologies. I found this amazing recipe for pumpkin spice cupcakes yesterday and since I already had all the ingredients, they became my First Day of Fall Celebration Cupcake. I topped them off with this homemade icing & oh my gosh -run, don't walk, to your kitchen and make these. 

During the baking process I only made a few changes. First, for the cupcakes, I didn't have all the separate spices that it called for (i.e. I don't have clove in my pantry) so instead of using individual spices, I totaled how many teaspoons of spices the recipe called for and just used that many teaspoons of Pumpkin Pie Spice that I did have.  I also didn't have any extra pumpkin left over the for frosting recipe so I simply left that out, added a touch more spice & 1 teaspoon vanilla extract and it was still amazing. Since this recipe makes 2 dozen cupcakes, I also made 1/2 the batch normally and then the second 1/2 with chocolate chips. In retrospect, I should have left the chocolate chips out because the original was so good on its own. If you love chocolate, you may really enjoy the addition, though!

I'm continuing to grow more and more obsessed with my Kitchenaid Mixer, but I promise to shut up about it eventually. In addition to finding & trying fall recipes, I'm slowly finishing up my fall bucket list and I'm incredibly excited about it! There are so many activities that are only magical during fall & I can't wait to do as many of them as possible.

What are your favorite things to do during the fall?  

kitchenaid mixer + review

After months of talking about my dream of owning one, a few weeks ago my mom let me know that if it's what I really wanted, she'd invest in a Kitchenaid Mixer as my Christmas present.

I spent hours reading reviews, looking at the different color options (which are quite overwhelming, to be honest), figuring out what tilt head & bowl lift meant, learning the difference between Artisan & Classic and trying to decide what I actually needed. I use the term needed loosely because let's be honest, although the Kitchenaid Mixer is a total game changer, this is an expensive item that is a total want.

My new mixer.. isn't she pretty?

I quickly realized that for my entry-level baking skills, and because I'm typically only baking for two people, I didn't need an extra large mixing bowl or the largest motor...and that was probably a good thing because these mixers can get very expensive, very quickly. I knew the most basic mixer would be more than enough for my needs & because these mixers withstand the test of time, if I ever wanted to upgrade, I knew I could pass this mixer on to one of my sisters or a friend and that it would still work perfectly as long as it was taken care of.

My mom had been pressuring me to make a choice about color, something I was putting off heavily because I'm in the process of building a home and haven't made choices about the color scheme in the kitchen yet, and because she was financing this deal I was trying hard to narrow it down when I got a call from her one morning while she was at Target. While browsing, she found a white 4.5 quart, 275 watt Kitchenaid Mixer on clearance for $124.99. At half off, I wouldn't have cared what color it was, but white was such a blessing in disguise! Not only will it match pretty much everything, but Scott & I had just been discussing how dark many of our options in our new home would be (flooring, cabinets, granite ) and that we should focus on bringing pops of white & light color into our decor. Since this baby will be staying on my counter top, it'll be a perfect contrast in the kitchen.

Above photo belongs to IINKY! Visit them here!

Also, can we talk about how cute these decals are? I found this one on Etsy for $12.50 & a simple search for "Kitchenaid Mixer Decal" results in over 300 decals to choose from, many with options to customize or to contact the designer and have one them create a unique one just for you. I can't wait to figure out what colors are going in my kitchen so I can order one and dress my mixer up a little!

So even though it's September, I knew this thing was just sitting at my mom's house begging to be let out and after surprisingly minimal pleading I already have it in my possession. As soon as I got it home I started trying to figure out what my first recipe using this was going to be and I quickly decided on a very simple & traditional chocolate chip cookie recipe that was in the Kitchenaid book that came with the mixer.

Can I just say that making these cookies were so, SO easy? This mixer takes so much work out of making that it's no wonder, after just a single use, why so many people love it so much.  Even the 4.5 quart bowl that I have, which some would consider to be small compared to other much larger models, held a recipe for 5 dozen cookies. Disclaimer: I did not read the directions very thoroughly because I didn't realize this recipe would make 5 dozen cookies until after I was staring at a very large amount of cookie dough wondering why there was so much. What can I say? Let's call it a learning curve. I'll be honest, I didn't read the owners manual to this thing and it was incredibly easy t use. I'll absolutely be looking it over so that I can understand what all it can do and what all the different attachments are for specifically, but the design is incredibly intuitive and user friendly. Speaking of attachments, there are a ton that you can purchase and use with this mixer. I've got my eye on this ice cream maker attachment & this flex edge beater.

As for the cookies? They came out of the oven perfectly. I'm always my own worst critic but I'm lucky in that Scott never tells me something is good just to spare my feelings... I value his opinion so much because he'll always let me know if it's spot on & if something needs to be adjusted (or perhaps just not made again ha!), he's the first to hit me up with some gentle honesty. The fact that over a dozen of these cookies were gone before I could get them in ziplock bags speaks volumes & we both agreed that these were much better than the typical pre-made cookie dough we usually buy from the grocery store.

I am by no means a health freak, but if I can eliminate more processed foods by doing more baking from scratch, then I'm absolutely up for the challenge of trying to create more naturally & with less preservatives. These cookies contained simple ingredients & I can actually pronounce everything that's in them, so I think that's a good place to start.

While it will take a few more uses and lots of trial and error before I realize the full potential of this mixer, I can say hands down that it was worth the investment. My advice? Run, don't walk, to your nearest Target and try to find this model on clearance for the price my mom was able to able to pay. If you can't snag it at that deal, check the sales & watch for online discounts. While I think this product is well worth it's price tag, there's no reason to pay full price for something you can find discounted. I would also recommend trying to find a used mixer if the previous owner can provide evidence that it's been well taken care of. These mixers are built to last a long time & purchasing one that's only a few years old would be a great way to save!

I'm incredibly excited to get in the kitchen more & with the holidays coming up, I can't wait to try out new recipes using my mixer. Do you have a favorite recipe that would be perfect for me to try out? I'd love to hear from you!

book haul + 2nd & Charles review!

Since I moved to Charlotte (almost a year ago...woah!!), I've been trying really hard to discover our city. I spend extra time driving new roads & getting lost on purpose so that I can find all the hidden gems of where we live. It 's been a really fun adventure and I'm so thankful to live in a place where there are so many different places to visit with so much to do.

A few weeks ago, Scott & I discovered our current favorite store called 2nd & Charles and let me just say, I'm in love. It would take an entire blog post to try and describe every facet of what this place is, but in short, it's a book store that sells way more than just books where you can buy, sell & trade your own media. They also sell music, dvds, fandom merchandise, a small amount of gift items (like coffee mugs), comic books & video games. They have a section for electronics, too, so you can buy pre-owned phones, gaming systems, kindles, etc.

The first time we visited, we were on a time crunch so the realization of what 2nd & Charles is didn't really set in until our second visit when we spent hours just browsing. The new books & the preloved books are mingled in together, which I absolutely love. Right beside a current best seller you may easily find an old favorite that's in excellent condition, or a book that you've always wanted to read but never got around to getting. I love books and I love reading so this was just nerd heaven for me.

As far as prices go, my wallet & I are super excited to say that this is an excellent place to purchase used titles that are in excellent condition. Scott & I are in the process of building our first home and one of the rooms we wanted to create was a library / study that would be sort of an extension of our master bedroom. We want to create a space that's incredibly comfy & relaxing (and technology free), so we've been on a mission to find both our favorite books that we've already read & new-to-us books to fill our future book cases. There's no way we could afford to purchase all of the books we want brand new, so I'm very thankful for a store like 2nd & Charles where most books are around $6, but I've snagged a few as low as $3!

My first purchases were cook books. This place has a GREAT selection of cook books... if you're working to build up your cook book collection, this is a great place to thrift through. For these six cook books, I paid $24.10 and their retail value new is around $94.00!  There are very few signs of wear on any of these books & some look like they've never been open. I'm excited to try out these recipes & get to abandon the Internet for how-to's. Perhaps a blog post is in order talking about my mission to decrease technology? I'm very excited about that goal...



My second set of purchases were specifically for leisure reading. I am so excited to dive into these! There's a healthy mix of fiction, Christian living, health & finance...what can I say? My taste is eclectic! From top to bottom, this stack includes: Wither by Lauren DeStefano, Everlasting by Elizabeth Chandler (which is actually a sequal! I need to pick up the first book), French Women Don't Get Fat by Mirelle Guilliano, Wrecked by Anna Davies, Crazy Love by Francis Chan, Start Your New Life Today by Joyce Meyer & Financial Peace Revisited by Dave Ramsey. In total I paid $37.70 for $124.90 worth of books!

Oh, and when I say we "paid" for these...well, technically we did pay, but not traditionally. Their system of buying your pre-loved items worked wonderfully for us! We had an old iPhone 5 + a couple books & movies and ended up with close to $200 in store credit... um, what?! On top of that, every time you check out you get a receipt with a survey. Fill out the survey and you get $5 off your next purchase of at least $25.00. $5.00 is enough to get a great book at 2nd & Charles, so it's like getting a free book every time you visit just for filling out their survey!

Scott & I love coming here for a date night. We stick together and look at books & then we go do our own thing on different isles, then we meet back up and go through our basket that we've inevitably filled up before making our final selections. This is such a fun trip to take together that doesn't cost a lot of money. Not every trip we take ends up with a haul like the two above, although it's hard to leave empty handed.

My only dilemma now is which book to start first!

thredup

A few days ago I read a post from Brittany at Invasion of Personal Space about a company called ThredUp & I'm so glad I took the time to investigate it a little more. The concept is pretty simple: you can both sell & buy clothing from this online consignment shop! Just for trying out the shop & signing in I got a $20 credit (and so did Brittany for referring me... pretty awesome!), so I was extra eager to find a great deal.

After browsing for a bit I found this cute cardigan, new with tags, for only $29.99 with an advertised retail value of $80! With my $20 credit, I put it in my cart for only $10. I did have to pay for shipping since my order was under $70, but even that made my total under $16, which I consider a success! I wasn't planning to add another cardigan / sweater to my fall / winter capsule but I really liked this one. The others I've added to my new collection (which I'll be posting about on Oct. 1) have busier patterns & won't transition as easily into later Winter, so I think this one will be a great piece that seems to be made well.

Before I submitted my payment, though, I did do a little research. After googling the brand of sweater and doing a quick browse of Macy's website (the brand this cardigan is from), I easily found this item for sale through their website. Listed here for $69 ($11 less than ThredUp had it described), I got to see a different view of the sweater & decided I still really liked this piece... especially for the discounted price. I definitely recommend searching for the piece you're planning to purchase through ThredUp first if possible!

One thing I really love about this is that you can actually earn credit for referring friends, and your friends get credit for their purchase (just like I did!). So if you're thinking about purchasing, you can follow this link and get $20 off your first purchase! I'm excited to get my cardigan in & I'll definitely point this item out when I post my wardrobe in a few weeks.  

Until then, I'm dreaming of fall weather cool enough so I can wear this anytime I want! 

hello, september

I've always thought of September as one giant countdown to the best time of year. Fall is where my heart is, and October is always magical for me. 

I always neglect this month, though, and pass it off as a chunk of time I have to get through so that I can enjoy the good stuff. But staying in line with the life I've decided to create, I want this year to go a bit differently than most. Even if I don't post them, I always have a goal in mind to accomplish for each month, so rather than having a "get through" mentality for September, I'm going to shift my focus and challenge myself to get as much done as I possibly can before it's end.

official September goals:

1. continue to de-clutter! We're in the middle of building our first home & we couldn't be more excited about all the s p a c e we're about to have...but we don't want to fill it with junk & things we don't need. I've been on a purging & cleaning spree since the spring, but every time I clean or do laundry, I find things that can go. In September, I want to declutter as much as absolutely possible so that when we start packing later this fall, we don't spend our time packing away things that should have been removed already. Areas that I know need major attention? Our pantry, kitchen cabinets, the Monica closet (and if you don't know what this is, I suggest you take advantage of Netflix gracing us with every episode of Friends that ever existed), & bookshelf. These are places that are typically out of sight, out of mind & it's super easy to overlook the fact that they contain things that need to be donated or tossed. 

2. start & keep a major house shopping list! Even though I need to toss & donate a bunch of items in our house, we still have a lot of items that we've never purchased or need to repurchase that I would consider "staple" pieces. For example, I've been putting off throwing Scott's pot & pan set out because I haven't wanted to invest in a new one...but because the Teflon coating has started to flake, I'm super paranoid about what we're probably definitely adding as an ingredient to every meal we cook. So, a new pot & pan set is a must. My goal is to create a large list & begin searching for deals as soon as possible. 

3. purge my spring / summer capsule & post my fall / winter wardrobe! A few items I purchased for my spring / summer capsule didn't quite hold up like I had hoped, and a few pieces don't fit as well as they should, so I need to decide what I'm keeping to pack up & what I'm donating. A few days ago, my momma took me shopping as an early birthday present, and I came home with 11 new pieces for fall/winter (plus a pair of shoes & two scarves!) Along with the clothes I have in storage (that I'm really excited to get to wear again!), this almost completes my fall /winter capsule wardrobe! I still need to purchase two or three long sleeve, solid tees & a new black and white tank top to go under things, but after that (and hopefully a super cute pair of brown boots) and MAYBE a new pair of leggings? I'm done! I'll be posting my fall / winter capsule in October and I'm really excited about being able to do that! I think I'm going to be much happier with this capsule than I was with my spring /summer one...but fall clothes are way cuter, am I right?!

4. get back to meal planning! I've been super slack & didn't meal plan at all in August or the beginning of this month, but I've definitely suffered the consequences & realized just how much money planning can save! My goal is to plan the rest of September & all of October (and maybe get a head start on November?) by the end of the month. 

5. take more pictures! Scott's dad left his Canon DSLR for him last winter when he visited, and I've been meaning to put it to better use than we have been. I'm going to start taking more pictures for my blog, as this is also meant as a way for our family & friends to stay connected to us.

That's it! Some super simple goals that I think will help us out tremendously as we get ready for a really busy fall & winter. I was going to make it a goal to post a certain number of times per week, but I'm going to ease back into blogging. I miss how it holds me accountable and I think there's real potential to create an online space that I love updating & maintaining...so I want this to be a natural progression, although I'm a little impatient. 

Here's to a productive September! 

capsule wardrobe + completed?

It's been a few months so I thought'd I'd update a bit about my closet organization quest!

When I seriously began to consider a capsule wardrobe, I knew that in order to figure out what I wanted I need to start with what I didn't want. That was super easy because I can easily recall most of the issues I had with my traditional, packed closet full of clothes because they were the same problems I ran into over and over again.

In my capsule wardrobe I didn't want...

To be surrounded by dark clothes. My old wardrobe wasn't made up of all dark clothes, but the few items that I wore over and over again all had very similar features and the predominant one was that it was dark. I loved to wear black because I think it was the only way to appear slimmer and I felt 'safe' being able to hide behind the fabric that hid all my flaws.

To have clothes that didn't fit. This seems like a no-brainer, but for as long as I can remember, I've had clothing within arms reach that I either shouldn't have worn or couldn't wear. Clothing that was either too big or too small took up a large part of my closet, making it increasingly frustrating when trying to put an outfit together.

To have reminders of the past. I've held on to clothing for years. Yes, there are some staple pieces that I hope to invest in over the course of my capsule wardrobe journey that last through seasons and years, but those pieces should be timeless. The clothing that I've had since I was a teenager? Those are simply exhausted and ready to be laid to rest. I've got the dress I wore under my high school graduation gown, the bridesmaid dress that I will never wear again and pieces I didn't realize reminded me of certain times of my life until I put them on and thought, "oh, I remember when..."

To have to do laundry often. I knew there would be a few pieces that I wanted to have two of. For example, since I can't wear jeans to work, i'm going to be wearing dress pants daily. I knew that if I only had 1 pair of dress pants I'd need to do laundry more often, so making sure I had several choices for clothes was a must. I also knew I needed to stay away from clothes that couldn't be worn more than once. If a shirt started to stretch and lose its shape after one wash, it wasn't going to work for me. I also knew that I wanted to be able to wash my clothes at the same time. Having to run a delicate cycle, an all white cycle and a color cycle wasn't going to work with my plan. I also have plans to air dry a lot of my pieces instead of using my dryer! I think that by having a smaller wardrobe and doing laundry less, this will be feasible.

To have pieces of the wrong season at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. I've been the girl who wore long sleeves with jeans in the middle of summer to an outside event because it was the only way I felt comfortable with my body. I was miserable, yes, but mentally I felt okay because I thought I was covering up all my flaws. In my first spring/summer capsule wardrobe, I didn't want to accidentally create a winter capsule. I wanted to purchase short sleeves, skirts, and shorts. Sure, having a long sleeved jacked made sense to keep around in case of a cool night or rainy morning out, but I shouldn't have an abundance of hoodies & coats to hide my frame.

So after narrowing down what I knew was off limits, I was able to clearly articulate what I did want. I wanted soft colors, light fabrics, low maintenance care, seasonally appropriate pieces, delicate accessories, pieces that could work with each other & a structure / set of rules that were really easy to remember and stick to.

The Rules
I began researching like crazy trying to find the perfect number of items that should go in my wardrobe. Some say 37, some swear by 33. Some believe you can make it off of 20 pieces (what?!) and some suggested the number simply be less than 40. Some people included jewelry, some included shoes, some only included clothing... I was finding it really stressful to figure out which set of rules to follow and then I realized that the point of this capsule wardrobe was to eliminate stress from this area of my life. Who cares what worked for all these other people? I needed to use a system that worked for me. I decided then that while I was giving myself guidelines, the minute I felt overwhelmed or stressed because of a made up rule, that rule was toast. My guidelines would be to stick to a specific number of pieces (33 for now), to stop shopping for the duration of the season once the capsule was complete & to only break the rule if I found a certain piece to be inefficient. If I purchase a piece for my capsule and I don't wear it after a few weeks or find that I don't like the way it fits, it needs to be replaced.

Special Circumstances
Once I started researching different people and how they assembled their capsules, I realized that many of their choices revolved around the life they lived. People who worked from home and could remain casual every day had a different approach than someone who worked a 9-5. I knew that I had a special circumstance because my work requires me to follow a strict dress code. I have 4 tops + vest that are work specific, and at first I contemplated having a mini-capsule just for work but I decided against it. Instead, I put my work clothes on one side of my closet but still included them in the breakdown of my capsule.

Getting Started!
The first thing I did to get started with my Capsule was go through my existing clothing and holy cow. I started off by washing all my clothes that needed it and dumping them in a pile. I bought an under-the-bed type storage container from Target for about $10 and decided that all the clothes I wanted to keep for fall/winter needed to fit in there. Anything else would go into 1) My Spring/Summer capsule, 2) my donate pile or 3) my throw-away pile. Why would I need a throw-away pile you ask? Well I'm glad you inquired... I am utterly embarrassed by how many pieces of clothing I owned that either had a hole in them or had a stain or a pick in the fabric or SOMETHING that made them ineligible for donation. I can think back to times when I'd throw on my favorite black, long-sleeve t-shirt and have to position it so it covered the hole in the neck. Or the dress I really loved but had to wear a belt with because there was a slight tear. Why in the world was I holding onto these things? It was really helpful to purge those things and dropping off a few bags at Goodwill felt great, too.

Implementation + Completion 
So, I'd be lying if I said that building my capsule wardrobe went exactly as planned after this point. To be fair, I did sort of jump into the idea after getting super pumped by reading about other's adventures into the capsule lifestyle. So for the sake of all honesty, I'll admit that I don't have the capsule wardrobe I envisioned in the beginning. I love, love, LOVE the idea of a capsule wardrobe and I think one day it'll be perfect for me but here's why I deviated from my plan:

1) i'm losing weight, so I had a hard time justifying the investment of good pieces that I knew I wouldn't be able to wear next season, 2) i'm still learning about my new lifestyle, namely, I live in a city where going out can actually justify nicer clothes that I didn't know I needed until now and 3)my budget has changed a lot since I first started thinking about a capsule wardrobe... i'm buying a house!

So where did I end up? I think I ended up with a really healthy medium between what I used to have and what I want ultimately one day. Currently, about 43 pieces are hanging in my closet. All of them fit and are in good condition, so I no longer struggle with "can I even wear that?" I've also implemented a "one in, one out" rule that I try to stick to when possible. For example, I had two pairs of work pants that were so worn out. Think thighs rubbing together which thins fabric (where my thick girls at?!) along with buttons hanging on by a literal thread. So I watched the sales and found two great pairs of slacks from JC Penney that fit really well. When I got home, I immediately trashed the older two pairs so I wouldn't be tempted to enter them into the "wash, dry, try on, become angry, throw in hamper, repeat" cycle that I'm used to. I'm also much more conscientious about my purchases. That $5 clearance tank top at Target that I just had to have? I actually didn't have to have it so I didn't buy it! But that $30 dress from H&M that isn't made of the best quality but fits my changing body for a night out with my boyfriend? Hanging in the closet as we speak.

Through this entire process I've learned that less can be more, and I think that's the purpose of a capsule wardrobe to begin with. I spend less time thinking about clothes, less time worrying about what to wear and more time enjoying where I'm going and what I'm doing. I still plan to take lots of advice from the capsule queens out there, and I'll be packing up my spring / summer clothes and trading them in for the fall / winter ones in a few months. I'll be minimizing my closet, avoiding purchasing the unnecessary items & once I've reached the weight I'm happy with, I'll start investing in nicer pieces that can travel with me through the years. But for now? I have a cleaner closet, a lighter load of laundry and a little more weight off my shoulders.

I'd say this was a success.

simplify + self discover

If I'm being honest with you, I have a really long list of reasons why I could have used this season of my life to eat large quantities of ice cream in bed, binge watch Netflix as a daily event like it's my job or play a stream of depressing, unrequited love songs as the soundtrack to my life. While there's a time and place for Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and OITNB (hello, season 3!), I have made a very conscious decision to only allow these things in moderation, and for the things that resemble outward expressions of self-pity? I simply don't have time for those. My life has been on an incredibly fast-paced road to happiness and I'm overwhelmed at times to be where I am. When one door closed for me, a million others flew open and I've been embracing that daily.

After my Winter ended, Spring stole my heart and I felt pulled to start purging e v e r y t h i n g. I needed room for all the growth I was experiencing, so our apartment has been in a constant state of simplification + organization. I'm incredibly happy about how things are flowing and I've made a goal of organizing a different area of our life each month. In April, it was all about developing a filing system + implementing a budget / financial plan. I'm so, so pleased with how this turned out! I'll be posting a bit about each of those over the next few weeks, so if you're interested in seeing how I managed that, be sure to check those out!

May is dedicated to my closet, and I'm really excited about building a capsule wardrobe! I've been tossing around the idea of doing something like this in my head for long time, but after reading this post by Brittany over at Invasion of Personal Space, I discovered that what I wanted to do was actually a real thing! I was so inspired by her motivation to simplify + self discover her style that I decided there's really no better time than now to do it myself, too! I'm still tossing around my plan to make it work for me and I'm getting inspiration from others who have taken a similar challenge, but I'm so excited to implement it for myself! I'm gathering lots of ideas from different sources and since I'm a little late to the game for Spring, I'm combining the Spring + Summer capsule into one. So far I've purchased 4 button-up tops & 3 tank tops, as well as all the jewelry that I'll be wearing. I'm transitioning through the end of May and my goal is that by June 1st my capsule will be completely ready to go. I am SO excited about having it for the summer, and I'm hopeful that I find it to be something I stick with.

So that's sort of what I've been up to since I started blogging again. I never promised I would be posting frequently but I think I'll write more often. I've missed it so much!

i'm going back to basics.

I'm not new to the idea of blogging. In fact, I was pretty proud of myself for a few years because I was updating my blog constantly... with pictures might I add. And then a big life event happened in May of 2013 and I just never wrote again.

That big life event was my husband coming home from his year long deployment in Afghanistan. That day, no matter what has transpired since, remains one of the best days of my life. I can still close my eyes and go back to that day and feel the excitement of seeing someone you love for the first time in a year...military homecomings are so much more than just that, though. That first hug isn't just an, "I missed you so much," hug. It's an, "I am so glad you are back home and alive," kind of hug. It's an, "I know I heard your voice as soon as the plane landed on US soil, but seeing it is believing it," kind of hug. Homecomings are also bittersweet because you realize in that moment, that not every family gets to have one. There are those who never make it home, and the experience is humbling. You just can't forget a moment like that.

The days that follow that day, I remember too. Some of them I remember better than others, and there are a few I'd like to forget. But all of those days led me to today and I'm incredibly thankful for that. So when I decided to begin blogging again, I came back to the blog I had been using since February of 2011. I read through so many of my posts... I laughed at myself, I cried a few times, and I saw exponential growth from the person who wrote those words and the woman that's keying these. While it was tempting to hit "New Post," and pick right up where I left off,  I felt like it was time for a fresh start. I'm definitely not deleting that blog - on the absolute contrary! That blog has the most detailed accounts of my life for those precious years and I wouldn't trade that for anything. The good, the bad...that story is mine. So it will stay with me, but it will also stay where it belongs: part of my past that develops my future. I may reference it from time to time or link to certain posts, but that blog is not who I am any longer.

This blog, however, is about who I am now. Right now I'm a 24 year old woman living in a different city who is going through a most definitely unplanned divorce & is reevaluating every part of her life while analyzing every decision she ever made...but is managing to still put a smile on her face and a pep in her step. I totally wasn't managing that 7 months ago, but right now? I'm healing every single day and each one is better than the last. And I'm kind of biased but I really like the "now" version of myself. I'm doing lots of things in life that have completely surprised me, and daily I am learning how to walk a path with confidence that I didn't design for myself, but that is full of new life. I'm taking the time I need to get back to the basics of who I am as a person and I'm learning about what makes me completely and totally happy. One of the things I love is writing, so this seemed like an excellent decision along my path of self discovery.

I'm 100% okay with talking to myself, but if you'd like to follow along on this life journey of mine, I say the more the merrier. I don't promise to update all the time and this may not be the cutest blog on the block, but it's a continuation of my story and I'm ready to write again.